Tuesday, 4 August 2015

What’s a cheetah?

Curiosity killed the cat. Get it? 

But seriously, I was curious to find out what people class as cheating. Obviously, I’m not talking about academic cheating, I’m fairly certain the majority of us have cheated on a test in school, whether that’s taking a pencil with the timetables printed on it into a maths test, or its sneaking a peak at your French oral, we’ve probably all been there. But I don’t think EVERYONE has cheated whilst in a relationship.

First, I think you can only really cheat on someone if you’re actually in a relationship. If you’re a couple. I don’t think you can cheat on someone if you’re not actually exclusive. So when I say cheating I’m talking about what would you class as cheating if you were in a relationship with someone. A monogamous relationship where it is clear you’re 110% with each other and no one else.

If you’re at that awkward stage where you’re flirting with someone casually then I wouldn’t say kissing someone else is cheating. However, if you have spoken and your intentions are that something will come from this flirting, such as a relationship, then don’t cheat.

Someone I know thinks they cheated on their now girlfriend with a friend of theirs, but I disagree.

This kid thinks he cheated on her whilst they were not together. They had broken up and weren’t talking for a while. Then they started talking and were back together but they called it off again. Then, he kissed someone and now he’s delusional enough to think he’s cheated on her.

From what I know….

They were not classing themselves as a couple. Yes, he might have started talking to her again in a romantic way, but at the time they were not an exclusive thing.

So, first I asked a bunch of ‘random’ people this question:

“What do you consider to be cheating?”

“Flirting with someone else in a serious way, being touchy with someone else, seeing someone else.” Jordan, 15 years old.

“Sleeping with someone else, kissing someone else, etc.” Alice, 20 years old.

To gain feelings for someone or to physically be involved with them, like from sexual contact. Even down to a kiss is a cheat. Messaging a girl, I don't care about as long as they are just friends with each other. Kayleigh, 19 years old.

“I think getting physically involved. Gülşah, 19 years old.

“Depends on their intentions.” Jess, 19 years old.

“Hmmm I think it depends, like thinking someone is cute looks wise is okay, but I wouldn't be happy if the person I was with could see themselves in a relationship with another person. Jess, 19 years old.

“Flirting with someone else. Because after that it's only a matter of time before they go and sleep with someone else. The seed had been sown.” Anissa, 19 years old.

“Emotional cheating-so like flirting, clearly having feelings for another girl or guy. Georgia, 19 years old.

“Anything, it’s not difficult to stay faithful if you really do love someone because you can’t imagine doing ANYTHING else with ANYONE else.” Jess, 64 years old.

“It’s not good, only kiss the one you love lots and lots. Luca, 5 years old.

Basically, anything can be cheating, it’s a very personal thing and its apparently subject to a lot of terms and conditions.

Then I asked, “Can you cheat on someone if you’re not mutually exclusive and you’re basically just flirting with them? Does that count as having cheated on them? If you kissed someone whilst talking to someone else in a flirty way would you have cheated on the person you’re talking to?”

“I think you've been incredibly disrespectful to that person but not necessarily cheated. If you're taking to someone and telling them that you really like them/ want more with them then just kissing someone else is a bit shit but ultimately, being single, you are free to do as you please. If you're both just being flirty and know there is nothing more there, then it must be kind of expected that you will both kiss/ like other people I suppose... Jess.

“Depends whether you were seriously flirting with the person or seriously kissing someone because you liked them. If not, and it was just as friends or it had no serious/deeper meaning then I don't think it's cheating; but if so, then it's cheating. I just think if you like someone you wouldn't kiss someone else or flirt with others just out of respect and fondness for the one you like. Jordan.

“I would say no, if you're not mutually exclusive, because you're both technically still free to see other people. But I'd still be pretty hurt if we had a thing going on and he was flirting with other girls. Georgia.

“If you’re not exclusive it's not cheating. You don't owe that person anything - you are not theirs and they are not yours.” Kayleigh.

Other things which were addressed:
To dump or not to dump? Tis the question...

Can you be in love with someone but fancy other people at the same time?

THE conversation

Well, it was interesting to read other people's views on cheating. Honestly, in the situation I'm talking about I do NOT think he cheated on her, so he needs to stop being so harsh on himself and I hope she isn't punishing the poor boy for nothing. Also from what I know, she also kissed someone when they weren't together, does that mean she cheated? Does that make them even? 
All I know is that I hope these two forget all that and enjoy the time they have together. It's rare you find someone so special when you're so young, cherish it. 

Also, if it feels wrong: don't do it. Or if you would be upset if the roles were reversed; don't do it. 

Who knows!

Thank you to these not so random people for answering my questions. You're incredible. 
Follow me on twitter and instagram because I'm pretty cute sometimes, @chantelle_kiran.

Until next time, remember I've said it so it must be true....


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