Wednesday, 23 September 2015

The 10 stages of being unable to write a blog post

I haven't posted ANYTHING in YEARS. WOW! I am bad at this blog thang. OOPSSS.

So, I've had a writers blog. I am not gifted with words. As the great Victoria Baker Harber once said, "if you cannot wow with words, baffle with bullshit"; words to live by.

1. Lack of ideas. Why don’t I do anything interesting? Maybe people want to know about the contents of my handbag. I doubt it. Wait, I don’t really have a handbag. There’s nothing in the world people haven’t already written about. ANY ideas, come on…

2. Getting an idea but being unable to come up with anything good enough. Did we all see Justin’s new hair? 1D are releasing a new album? How about an article on how to get some good selfie lighting? 👀

3. Watching hours of TV to inspire you. Maybe I will learn something new from a TV show. Once upon a time? Friends? White collar? House? Oh! I know! This is PRIME time to catch up on OITNB.

4. Watching 4 seasons of OITNB and still having no idea what to write. Well I think EVERYONE knows how hot Ruby Rose is. 😍 That was a great way to spend a day but still nothing to write about. LOL @ my life.

5. Picking at anything and everything. Clutching at straws. Maybe people will be interested in Land Law? Or EU law? Then again, I think if that were the case they’d have chosen to do a law degree. Who does that? Oh, wait….

6. Listening to some music to get you in the writing mood. EMINEM anyone? The man has such a way with words. True talent right there.

7. Learning the lyrics to the 12 new songs in the charts. All this time I though they’ve been saying “like the legend of the penis” but apparently not….

8. Harassing your housemates for ideas. Jessssssss? Whatcha doin’????? Alisssssson? What’s a farmers’ life really like?

9. Hoping you’ll do something blog worthy. Maybe if I drink enough ill do something REALLY stupid and I can blog about it. I’m sure people want to read about me taking my top off in Camden right?

10. Realising you’ve got nothing, maybe that’s it. What am I doing with my life? Nothing, apparently. Maybe that’s a good post in itself.

I will do my very very best to post more regularly. 

Until next time, remember I've said it so it must be true....


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