The 10 stages of being unable to write a blog post

I haven't posted ANYTHING in YEARS. WOW! I am bad at this blog thang. OOPSSS.

So, I've had a writers blog. I am not gifted with words. As the great Victoria Baker Harber once said, "if you cannot wow with words, baffle with bullshit"; words to live by.

1. Lack of ideas. Why don’t I do anything interesting? Maybe people want to know about the contents of my handbag. I doubt it. Wait, I don’t really have a handbag. There’s nothing in the world people haven’t already written about. ANY ideas, come on…

2. Getting an idea but being unable to come up with anything good enough. Did we all see Justin’s new hair? 1D are releasing a new album? How about an article on how to get some good selfie lighting? 👀

3. Watching hours of TV to inspire you. Maybe I will learn something new from a TV show. Once upon a time? Friends? White collar? House? Oh! I know! This is PRIME time to catch up on OITNB.

4. Watching 4 seasons of OITNB and still having no idea what to write. Well I think EVERYONE knows how hot Ruby Rose is. 😍 That was a great way to spend a day but still nothing to write about. LOL @ my life.

5. Picking at anything and everything. Clutching at straws. Maybe people will be interested in Land Law? Or EU law? Then again, I think if that were the case they’d have chosen to do a law degree. Who does that? Oh, wait….

6. Listening to some music to get you in the writing mood. EMINEM anyone? The man has such a way with words. True talent right there.

7. Learning the lyrics to the 12 new songs in the charts. All this time I though they’ve been saying “like the legend of the penis” but apparently not….

8. Harassing your housemates for ideas. Jessssssss? Whatcha doin’????? Alisssssson? What’s a farmers’ life really like?

9. Hoping you’ll do something blog worthy. Maybe if I drink enough ill do something REALLY stupid and I can blog about it. I’m sure people want to read about me taking my top off in Camden right?

10. Realising you’ve got nothing, maybe that’s it. What am I doing with my life? Nothing, apparently. Maybe that’s a good post in itself.

I will do my very very best to post more regularly. 

Until next time, remember I've said it so it must be true....

Chantelle₇


Song of the post: What do you mean? - Justin Bieber 

CH- CH- CH- CHANGES...

It’s weird how little things can change a person.

For the better and for the worst.

Some things are such positive changes. They make people so happy, they increase their confidence, they encourage others to make positive changes and they are so good for people’s health.

Other things can be incredibly negative.

So, recently a few of my friends have lost some weight.

Me; I never change, it’s sad, I could go to the gym everyday and still look the same. (Although, I did tone up over the summer and am currently a huge fan of my body in all my cute underwear.)

Anyway, so they’ve lost some weight. Some did it by cutting out certain food groups, and a few pretty much stopped eating. Now kids, I think you’re CRAZY if you think that you can loose weigh by eating the tiniest amounts of food and going on a mental diet.

By not eating you're putting so much strain on your body. You NEED to eat.

So, they’ve lost it however they did.

Some of them have taken it to their heads. Get over it. Don’t be proud of loosing weight by doing it in stupid ways. Don’t get me wrong, I am so happy for you because you seem happier but I will not support you loosing it by being a twat.

Also, remember; its very easy to spot girls who aren’t used to being called attractive. I'm not sure a lot of people, especially girls, are aware of how obvious it is when someone has changed and think they're more attractive. Because their confidence has increased they think they’re it, but this also means their insecurities are more obvious. It happens a lot when people have surgery, like a nose job, or get braces, but also when people lose weight.

So, if you have lost weight, don’t go on about it. Don’t talk about sizes. Don’t talk shit about your former body size. Don’t talk about these things CONSTANTLY. Obviously, comment on it when necessary but people aren’t particularly interested.

Don’t ever be ashamed of your former self either. Just accept it. You weren’t happy so you changed but do not be horrible to yourself. There are enough people in the world who will talk shit about you, so there’s no need to become one of those people.

The key is subtle confidence. If you can be confident then do it. Own it. Work it. You be you. But don’t be an ass-hat. If you treat people badly it reflects how truly insecure you are. So be happy, be brilliant, be you.

I'm so happy for all my friends who are happier with themselves now. I love you all to bits, no matter what you look like. But yay! PROUD OF YOU.

Until next time, remember I've said it so it must be true....

Chantelle₇


Song of the post: Changes - David Bowie

Things I’d tell my first year self

Oh my gosh! Second year is ridiculously close. I'm actually insanely happy to be going back to uni. I feel lost without structure in my life, I don’t like not having to be places, I miss having things to do. I actually miss learning new things a LOT.

The more I reflect on first year the more I miss it. It's gone. I can’t get it back. But, I can learn from my mistakes. In all honesty I don’t regret ANYTHING from first year because at the time it's what I wanted, I enjoyed it and I soothe it all over in my head by calling it all BANTER.

But, here are some things I would tell my self a year ago:

Study hard. Make your life easier in the long run. Actually go to ALL your lectures and tutorials. I know Alan hates you, but I do genuinely think he’s secretly in love with you and when you get a first you’ll be glad he tortured you. Enjoy the times he picks on you when you’re definitely not listening because that’s the stuff that came up in the exam.

GO OUT. ALL THE TIME. Go to new places. Visit old places. Go to good places. The shitholes. Everywhere because there’s only so much time in the world and you’ll have a great time wherever you go. So go to more crappy fresher’s events, but maybe don’t get too shitfaced and miss lectures, because after all you did meet most of your best friends on your first official fresher night out.

Get to know a few promoters. Most of them are hot. Why not?

Go to more gigs. Its fun! It’s a break from the usual night out.

Uber everywhere. Always. It just makes sense.

Always take a road bottle. Night out essential.

If possible always have a bottle of vodka. You never know when you’ll randomly have a flat party. Or when you'll seriously need a drink. Life got pretty stressful sometimes....

Chill out more in a group. Have movie nights. It’s cute. How great does a pizza party sound?

Host more parties. Considering you refused to go to other people’s parties, throw your own. Also, when you do you have the most amazing time. Dictators birthdays, total winner!

Do not waste time on boys. They’ll come and go. Do not let other people be the reason you’re happy or sad. You’re at uni to meet people. But do not allow boys to be important. I mean you did pretty well, no serious attachment or upset but, just enjoy yourself. Flirt. Have fun! You won't be young forever.

Revise a little earlier. This has nothing to do with anything but your laziness. LAZY SHIT.

Jack has a really fun game on the Xbox so get him to show you that earlier. Maybe you won't be so rubbish at it if you have more practice? Hahahah, we can hope I guess......

Go out and dress up for cute dinners out. Its fun. Also you can take some super cute photos. INSTAGLAM, am I right? Also, photos to use for #tbt.

Do NOT rely on everyone else. People are flakes. Go out regardless of what everyone else are doing. Don’t let other people let you miss out.

As the great Miss Montana so accurately stated, "everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those day...."

P.S. Why was your room ALWAYS a mess? Get your shit together woman, mum isn’t there to clean up after you anymore!

P.P.S. Also maybe drop your laptop on the floor less….

I asked some of random people who have also done their first year, and here are their wise words:

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INSERT NAME OF HUMAN YOU SHOULD NOT SLEEP WITH EVER EVER EVER. 

Until next time, remember I've said it so it must be true....

Chantelle₇


Song of the post: Ni**as in Paris - Jay Z & Kanye West